Inspiration

The inspiration for the topic of my first essay hit me while I was reading The Turn of the Screw, so I immediately started taking notes. I knew I would write about the appearance of the halo effect throughout the story when I started becoming frustrated with the governess for refusing to see the ghosts influence on and within the children simply because they were adorable and well-mannered. I mean, this was obviously a trick that the ghosts were using to deter her from finding out their game. I could see it so clearly, how could she not??

From that point forward, it was easy to find examples of this phenomenon because I was mindful to look out for them. I was extremely lucky that an idea for a topic of my paper came to me early in the process because I have had my fair share of writer’s block, and I know how it can affect a writer. I mean, I can almost feel the stress and frustration just thinking about an approaching deadline and no ideas! I have the idea, now it’s just time for the execution. Wish me luck!

Date 2/9

Blessings of a good peer review

Yesterday, I started off on the grand adventure of writing essay #1. Fortunately for me, I had written a pretty detailed outline. I thanked my previously-motivated self for this blessing because it meant that all I had to do was connect all the bullet points and add some transitions. After doing so, I promptly shared my essay with my peer review members and awaited the oncoming wave of comments.

The biggest things I had to work on were my use of passive voice and my use of “to be” verbs. *Shout out to my group members for bringing this to my attention!* Unfortunately for me, I had no idea what the heck passive voice was, or what “to be” verbs were. A short time later, I had educated myself using the worldwide web about what these lovely literary no-no’s were and how to go about correcting them to the best of my ability so as to not turn in an essay with all sorts of errors.  After editing my essay to comply with the requests of my fellow student, I felt good about the first draft of essay #1, I’m ready for a strong start to the semester!

3/10

Retirement

My first essay will be officially retired as of Friday, and I can say that I’m feeling a bit stressed. Essay #1 is kind of my first child, in a way, because it’s my brain child. Because class is cancelled this week, (thank you, corona) I’m having a bit of separation anxiety from my baby. While I know my baby is in the safe keeping of Dr.Pennington, I’m still struggling a little because I’ll probably still have to make some changes and retirement is coming up fast! Needless to say, they grow up SO FAST. Those first few stages of life (or revision) go by in the blink of an eye. I cannot believe that it is already time for my baby to retire but I know it will move on to do such great things.

Here Comes the Train

Today as I was sitting down to study for my Spanish exam that I have on Friday, my roommate kindly reminded me that the due date for essay #2 was fast approaching, with the peer review due on Saturday. *Cue mini panic attack* I hadn’t even started yet! I’m not a great writer, so writing an essay usually takes me a good chunk of time. I was almost ready to break down in tears. How on earth was I supposed to write 8 pages by Saturday when it takes me almost a full day to write one page?! (okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but you feel my panic nonetheless). With a Spanish exam Friday, draft #1 for this essay due Monday, a sociology exam on Wednesday, and a Spanish essay due next Friday, the train was really coming in hot, and I really had to hop on or risk missing out. 

Luckily for me, Emily is super supportive, and we sat and listened to music while writing out our summaries. We were both able to crank out our entire summaries in one sitting! I don’t know that I’ve ever been so productive while writing, and needless to say, I was very proud of myself. The analysis will be a job for tomorrow, and I’ll save the abstract for Saturday, but nevertheless I was proud of my ability to focus and get things done. Maybe deadlines are the greatest motivator..

Date 3/2

No Homework? Who’s She?

Today may be Monday, but I must say that I’m not having a case of the Monday’s. I just finished my first revision of essay #2, *feeling: accomplished! :)* and since I’m still waiting for my revisions from essay #1, I currently have NOTHING TO DO FOR THIS CLASS! I must say, the feeling is pretty great. I know that it won’t always be this way so I’m soaking it in (and completely ignoring the fact that I couldn’t print my revisions because I’m out of printer ink– that’s a problem for tomorrow). It’s like I’m already sitting on the beach without a care in the world, although, let’s be honest, I’ll probably have writing to do over break. If you need me at all for the rest of the night, I’ll be watching Netflix. Goodnight, De Pere.

Date 3/10

In Regards to My Last Entry

Today is March tenth. It is the week before spring break. Dr. Pennington has cancelled class all week due to the Corona. My boyfriend is here from DC distracting me from my homework, and all the things I have put off up to this point are closing in. I’m trying to keep up a good attitude, though. I may have an exam and an essay to do as well as a presentation and an analysis. My life may be a hot mess at the moment, but a hot mess is still hot. Even if I’ll be doing tons of assignments over break, at least I’ll be doing them on the beach. Freud, Chopin, and I can all have some quality bonding time while I’m on Daytona, and I can’t say there’s anyone I’d rather vacation with.

Hello, Online Class

Today is Monday the twenty-third, making it the first official day of online classes. It’s only 3pm and I can officially say that I despise online classes. Not only is it super annoying to try to communicate with 30 other people on one live video stream, but I don’t really understand the technology. As far as this class goes, I’ve been able to turn in a draft, but I’m not really sure how replacing that draft with another will go. The instructions that Dr. Pennington sent out seemed pretty clear, but there are so many steps and as much as I hate to say it, I’m not as technologically advanced as a person of my age should be. We’ll see how the rest of the semester goes. Stay healthy!

Date 4/5

Repression in Depression

As I’m looking forward to doing another revision of my psychoanalytic essay tomorrow, *hopefully* I also am thinking about the situation we’re in. I heard today that some schools were making preparations to have classes online in the fall ;( This, of course, makes me extremely sad. As much as I enjoy spending time with only my parents (my sister being overseas), I miss school an inordinate amount. I would love nothing more than to go back to class in a classroom and have some semblance of an idea of what’s going on. Constant tech problems and communication gaps are making school at home a little more difficult than I could have imagined. However, since it looks like we’ll be here a while, I suppose I’ll just continue to write about Edna’s repression in a depression.

Date 4/6

A Case of the Monday’s

I apologize for how sad all my blogs have become, but at least the drama will keep you entertained, and oh do I have drama today. I worked tirelessly for hours on a revision for this essay (I can’t even remember which revision I’m on at this point) only for all my changes to mysteriously disappear! I have no idea how this happened, as I was using Google docs which automatically saves but OH WHAT A TRAVESTY! The pain that I felt when looking at that doc and seeing not a single one of my changes was absolutely heartbreaking. This mysterious dark doing occurred only after I turned it in, so my hope is that I just can’t see my edits when the assignment is turned in. I highly doubt that this is the case, but I am hanging on to my small shred of hope. I hope your Monday is better than mine. Please say a prayer for me.

Your hard-working, but yet extremely under-motivated friend,

Alaina.

That, is very much…. adequate

This has always been a little strange to me and I KNOW that I am not the only person this happens to. For some reason, whenever I turn in an essay that I’ve worked on for hours on end and am confident in, I get an average or subpar grade on it. On the other hand, whenever I turn in a paper that I couldn’t write until the last minute because of writer’s block and am convinced it it a steaming pile of hot garbage, I get a pretty good grade on it. Draft 1 of my Feminist and Gender essay is very similar to this blog post, a hot mess on a stick, so I guess I’ll wait and see what Dr.P has to say.

Ps: Title is a tiktok reference

Hugs!

Alaina

Date 4/25

Lemon Water

This blog entry is going to be pretty much worthless, but I hope you can find some joy or inspiration in it all the same. Having just finished writing draft 2 of my Feminist and Gender essay, I took a satisfied sip of my lemon water. I was a little put off by the amount of work I had to do this week, but I persisted and completed most, if not all of it. After receiving comments back on my first draft, I was a little overwhelmed by the amount of things I would need to fix for my next draft. One could say that the work piling up was sour as a lemon, which would mean it was bad or distasteful, yet, the only way I can get myself to drink enough water throughout the day is if I have lemons in it.

Interpret that however you please.

Until later,

Alaina

Date 4/30

#1 In the books

Today is a great day! I finally got the okay from Dr.P that one of my essays is ready to go in the presentation portfolio? Can you guess which one that is? I’ll give you a hint, it’s my feminist and gender essay! With all the negativity going around, this was such great news for me. I have been stressing for the past couple of days that the semester is drawing to a close and I have yet to get a single essay approved, but this news made my day. I may have even started to cry a little (I definitely cried lol). I only have to do it three more times and then I’ll have a finished portfolio.

Wish me luck, I’ll need it.

Alaina.

Date: 4/28

As I sit on my couch reflecting on the semester and all of the essays I have written and revised, it has occurred to me that I have written quite a bit. It has also occurred to me that the semester ends next week and yet Dr. P has yet to tell me that any of my essays are portfolio-ready and I’m not really sure what this will mean for my grade at the end of the semester. Surely my classmates are doing a great deal better than I am, after all, I’ve always been a weak writer. I cannot recall a time when I have scored above a B on an essay, so constant revisions come at no shock to me. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to pull my essays and website together by the end of the semester because if I’m being honest, I’m not sure if I can force myself to write another word.

One Final Week

Date 5/11

Today is Monday, May 11, making it the last official week of my Sophomore year. I’m feeling a bit nostalgic, and seeing as all my essays are already done, I think I’ll take this blog to write some sappy thoughts about my time at SNC and my life. I cannot believe how fast my college years are flying by, and to be honest, I’m anxious about what the rest of my life will bring. I have the most anxiety over the fact that I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. Ideally, I would be able to do something in which I can harness my creativity rather than dampening it, but I know that not everyone can be blessed with the type of work that they love. I fear that my lack of knowledge of what I’m looking for will ultimately result in my taking of any job that becomes available and wasting the rest of my life in a job that I despise, but I suppose that is the fear of every young college student. I had a small mental breakdown shortly before I turned 20 because I realize that it was the true end of my childhood and I felt as though I had wasted my teen years, but I have since consoled myself with the fact that everyone feels this way no matter how much or how little they explored, played, partied, or otherwise, and besides, if my teen years were my best years, then I would have nothing to look forward to for the rest of my long and miserable life. Thankfully, this is not the case. I saw a show that conducted studies on people of all ages, races, and backgrounds with several experiments testing memory, communication, activity, and more to determine the best ages to be alive. In the end, they concluded that the best age to be alive is in your 20s’s, and life goes downhill for a while after that. However, life gets better again in your 60’s due to sufficient sleep and time for activities other than work. So while I entering the best time of my life as an anxious and stressed college student and I’m sure that the years will pass so quickly I lose track of them, I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m so sorry for the rant that probably meant nothing to you, but thank you for listening nevertheless.

The Cherry on Top

Date 5/12

This is it, my friends. Our long journey has finally come to the end. As of the end of this blog, I will have written my last piece of writing for lit 305, and with it, I am writing a big piece of my soul. So much time and effort has gone into this class that I am honestly surprised I was able to do it (I was a little wary in the beginning.) Nevertheless, I have written and revised 5 different essays numerous times in this 14 week period and have recorded every step along the way in this webpage. Every piece of my journey with English and writing up until today is documented here, from the story my wishful beginnings, to the tale of my fateful downfall, to the essays that document my rising from the ashes, and I could not be happier to have shared this experience with you.

Until next time,

Alaina.